Very Briefly...

A quickie.

It's another one of those days where not much is happening. At time of writing, the most shared story on the BBC News website is this. 'Family Sees Jesus in Marmite'- because naturally if the Lord wished to appear to us mere mortals he would do so in the dregs of a jar of yeast extract, or on a slice of toast or in a sunspot, sending dozens of Thai citizens blind in the process. Nothing says 'Lamb of God' or 'omnipotent superbeing' like appearing in Marmite. Jesus, you either love him or hate him (I think the church rejected this official slogan).

In other news, two 'bottled ghosts' sold for £935 at auction in New Zealand. Stored in holy water by an exorcist, the two ghosts had been bothering Christchurch resident Avie Woodbury. "I would get things like the jug boiling itself, touching on the back of my neck, voices from other rooms, and items going missing then turning up in weird places," she said. "The dog was mental, he wouldn't go into certain rooms." You can't make this stuff up. People often accuse me of being too cynical, but in a world where Jesus returns in a Marmite lid and ghost presse retails for a cool £935, can you blame me?

I'm hoping some real news turns up sometime soon, but I'm not banking on it. Tomorrow will see some hard, undercover investigative journalism as I enter the terrifying world of Chatroulette. You have been warned.