This Thing...

Right, better do one of these things. I'm quite tired, insomnia, feeling ill and having to get up at 8 are not happy befellows. Do I have diabetes? I might have diabetes... Anyway, today's not about diabetes per se, but rather about John Peel.

Unbelievably it's been 6 years since the definitive disc jockey and music journo John Peel left this confusing world of nonsensical hip-hop and mass-produced rubbish from Cowell's high waistband and frankly who can blame him? One cannot overstate the impact that Peel had on the British music scene. Any presenter that does not count him as an influence is either a liar or not worth listening to anyway. While he may have supported the wrong team, he was nonetheless a towering genius. There isn't really much else to say.


He had diabetes, you see. Hence the tenuous link...

Essentially, Peel was and is a legend and we shall never see his like again.


I'm getting very bad at these...

I'm sure things will pick up again soon, particularly if, say, someone fancies handing me a job in the media in some capacity...

Off the Rails...

Today has been spent largely on trains, so I imagine that fellow commuters would frown upon me attempting to record a comedy sketch in their presence (though it would be amazing to try and do that in the Quiet Carriage). This has somewhat put the FriPic on ice, I'm afraid. Perhaps you can rewatch some of my past glories (and epicfails) instead. Thank you for your understanding (and please take all your baggage with you, or we'll have to blow it up).

Side-Projects...

I've made a foray into performance punk poetry (think sort of John Cooper Clarke meets Stewart Lee) under a pseudonym and some poems have been put up on a tumblr. I'm aware that having to post a link to the page will compromise my pseudonym, but then again, there's not much point in a pseudonym if no-one reads your work anyway, so here's the site and you know nothing about whether I'm real or he's real or whether we're the same or different, right guys?

(A more serious question, if anyone knows of any decent poetry open nights, I'd be grateful)

Bleurgh...

You know how sometimes you're in a motorway services at 7:45, having got up at 5:30 and you think 'I know what'll sort me out - a black coffee' and so you head to a coffee chain (let's call them, I don't know... 'Rica') and grab a medium Americano? It's never as good an idea as it sounds.

You go for the medium, thinking '"medium" is normal-sized, right? That's how it works.' Not necessarily. They guilt trip you into buying a medium because no-one wants to ask for a small, no-one. Medium is only 'medium' because the 'large' Americano is large enough to drown a toddler in (again, I'm not advising this...), it's a large by any normal person's standards.

The caffeine then takes its toll on everything it can. Brain, bladder... all the b's, essentially. You will also spend the next 3 or 4 hours being twitchy and convinced that you're suffering from palpatations.

This is essentially a long-winded way of saying, I feel a bit bleurgh so today's blog won't be very good. Still, Spooks tonight, so at least tomorrow's will look after itself. (I mean, I still have to watch, remember what happened and come up with a concise and witty article about it, but it basically writes iself... well, I mean, I still have to write it... but... ok, it's all me. ALL ME)

The Habbit...

Yeah, I know I'm getting an awful habit of being busy and not really doing adequate blog posts. Don't blame me, blame life.

Here's an article about The Hobbit to tide you over...

Robert Robinson and Some Other Stuff...

There's not a great deal to blog about today, to be honest, so in honour of the great Robert Robinson, who's retiring as host of Radio 4's Brain of Britain after 3 decades at the helm, here are some comedians doing excellent impressions of him.

Uno

Dos




Also...

After my twitter social experiment yesterday, Julia Raeside herself responded warmly with:

@SamuelERobinson Like durrrrrrr. You should've picked someone more popular. "If you're a fan of our lord Jesus Christ you'll also like me."

Though I'm not sure I could cope with that heady combination of religious ecstacy and Twitter performance anxiety in truth.

Hope your respective days treat you well.

Thorts Hurt My Brain...

Ok, to cut a long story short, I've been hiking around the landscape of Stonehenge for 5 hours and now my feet are less than pleased with me. Now, I know what you're thinking, you don't type with your feet... and I don't, however I do type with my brain, which has also been left quite drained after all that excitement, so instead of me attempting to think of things here's an interesting article about the upcoming 'Thor' movie.

To which I say: "Come on, Guardian... it's Thor... directed by Branagh. It will almost certainly be fantastic... almost certainly..."

You've Got A Friend...

So, I was leafing through the Guardian (mostly the G2 and Sport) as usual this morning searching for something to blog about (yup, it's one of those days again) and happened across this article by the excellent Tim Dowling about renting a friend. As one might imagine, being a unsuccessful comedian and blogger doesn't pay particularly well, so the idea of renting myself out for companionship without having to perform sexual favours for a client is a rather appealing one.

Here are some of my qualities:

• Good sense of humour - Particularly with regard to my own jokes.
• Not so good-looking that I'll show you up, but also not so ugly that you'll be ashamed to be seen with me - Sort of fair to middlin'.
• Vast and eclectic musical tastes - Can discuss comfortably all periods of music from Early, Baroque Classical and Romantic, to Rock, Blues, Jazz, Soul, New Wave and Indie. NO HIP HOP. (Can't stress that last one enough)
• Experienced actor - So it'll seem like I'm enjoying your company, even if I'm really not.
• Bad at the whole 'eating out' spiel - Coffee or pub is fine though. Don't bother with a fancy restaurant or something like that... it'll be embarrassing for all involved.
  
• Accomplished guitar and piano skills - (While no extra fee is demanded for serenading, a donation is appreciated...)
• Owner of no less than 4 pairs of shoes - Basically equipped for any situation.
  
• Decidedly average at most sports - If that's your cup of tea.
  
• Knowledgeable about many periods of history - Useful for broadening your horizons or simply engaging in a heated debate (preferably shouted in a public area).
• Once gave a presentation (in German) about the proposed accession of Turkey to the EU.
  

So, if all that floats your boat, a very reasonable, sliding payscale according to your social status is offered. If you're interested (and, hey, why wouldn't you be... don't answer that), then contact me here.

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

Well, here we are, a country in turmoil. With no government, Gordon stepping down, both Nick Robinson and Kay Burley still inexplicably employed and a horrible likelihood of ending up CONDEM-ned, it seems suitably demoralising that I don't have much of a blog for today. Sometimes I have to do real things too, you know how it is. Also Twitter's been playing up again, cheeky so-and-so that it is.

Basically, on this black day for humanity the less said the better... probably. Never mind, maybe something amusing and newsworthy will happen tomorrow like Ken Clarke punching a pregnant woman outside Morrisons (I don't condone this) or Gordon Brown releasing an album of Jackson Browne covers (it's in the name, you see)... could happen.

No News Today, Have Some Videos...

Right, this is pretty much what it says on the tin, there is literally no news worth blogging about today, so instead have a couple of links.

The World's Gone Mad! #Election

And, most importantly of all:

STOP BORING HUGH LAURIE!

Sorry that this is a bit of a cop out and is mostly just to make sure that I don't miss out a day in this 5-day a week blog. You hear that, news people? You'd better break some bloody interesting news sharpish!