Continued Edinburgh Musings...

So after a frankly brilliant 3 weeks at the Fringe, what did we learn, kids? Well, aside from learning that fame is somewhat like Twitter (the already famous/well-followed get more famous/well-followed exponentially, but the minorities or cult figures struggle to carve out any influence - See: millionaire and American youth Bo Burnham), we (by which I mean 'I') learnt that I would definitely love the whole 'comedian' spiel - to the extent where I've already run up a Powerpoint presentation (my lameness knows no bounds).

We also learnt that free drinks are indeed possible, though not always consistently. (Have since meditated that the whole 'free drink' period occurred mostly when I was on my own. Sympathy drinks, I suppose).

Another key fact was that comedians, on the whole, are very nice people with a lot of time for their fans.

Several wider facts: Murdoch's greed is insatiable. Not content with charging for the Times Online, everyone's favourite Mr. Potato Head made flesh Rupert Murdoch decided to pull Sky Sports News from Freeview to add a new SSN HD channel. Yes, that's right, high definition for two people sat in a studio. Not since the forefront of the day's technology or 'gadgets' was thrust into, out of an entire force, a dimwitted police 'inspector' has their been a more drastic, collective pissing of resources up the walls of television.

I say 'several', I have become sidetracked and consequently forgotten what the rest of the points were. They may come back to me, they may not. We just don't know...

A Well Groomed Fringe... The Third and Final

This one dedicated to Hoffi for her birthday (yup, it's a birthday dedication week). Right where were we...

• Karaoke Circus: (This was between Herring and Pappy's but I missed it out because I'm writing this from the ones I put into the Fringe app and KC wasn't listed on there) - Basically a fantastic evening had by all. A real party atmosphere permeated through Prince's Street Gardens where we'd arrived massively early. There were some terrific performances, my personal favourites, I think, being Thom Tuck's 'National Express' (if ever a singer was better equipped to take on the theatrics of the Divine Comedy...), Justin Edwards and Gus Brown's heartfelt (and dare I say well-rehearsed rendition) of Youssou N'Dour's '7 Seconds' featuring blistering falsetto from Edwards and astounding French rapping skills from Brown and Andrew Collins' identical to the record version of 'I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor', if only for him announcing "turned out nice again" at the end.
• Key's Album Launch: Right, back to the canon. Again we all turned up early, early enough to see Key, Horne and Mohammed (fulfilling the role of violinist in this instance) arrive at Avalanche records. The launch itself was fairly short, but included several poems, the 'Egg' sketch and David O'Doherty's interruption causing Key to tear up one of his playing cards. Another one of those classic 'only in Edinburgh' moments. Key signed my copy of the album and graciously did the same to my copy of 'Tutelage' which I had lugged to Avalanche in a record bag. Lovely guy.
  
• Stewart Lee: Lee, a comedian's comedian, was testing material for a new tv series which included some fantastic routines about Adrian Chiles, a vast segment of callbacks and absurdities regarding charity and some fantastic lies about meeting David Cameron in univeristy. He was selling merch at the back of the gig at the end and I snapped up a copy of his book which had been consistently recommended to me during the weeks, which the man himself signed and I read a large chunk of on the train back from Edinburgh attempting to ignore some anti-social Sheffield children.
• Gutted: The latest offering from Ward and White was excellent fun. Following a girl's revenge against the husband that murdered her parents, Gutted delivers big laughs and tandout performances from the Penny Dreadfuls as men of varying heights and Colin Hoult doing a magnificent Alec Guiness in Kind Hearts and Coronets sort of turn, leading a strong ensemble cast of talent. The songs are jaunty and the piece revels in schadenfreude and black comedy. I can safely say it's the most I've ever enjoyed a musical and therefore I bestow upon it the title of 'Best Musical. Ever. In the History of Arts. Ever'.
• Seann Walsh: There's been much hype surrounding the Brighton-born comedian, touting him as one of the future stars of comedy and it's safe to assume that a fair few more appearances on Mock the Week will materialise. As for his live material however, he delivers a solid hour of observational, witty rantings. Mixing Lee Evans-style slapstick with Dylan Moran levels of cynicism and general disenchantment with life. The show was however stolen by a wheelchair-bound man. Discussing the travelators at airports and the redundant warnings of "caution, you are approaching the end", he theorised that some idiot must have fallen off it to necessitate such an announcement. The man raised his hand and explained that he'd toppled backwards whilst trying to do a wheelie, prompting the audience to fall into fits of laughter and Walsh himself to sink to the floor wrapt in serious giggling.
• The Horne Section: My second Horne Section of Edinburgh and my third overall was naturally hugely enjoyable. The Magnets (who my friend's dad had engineered a debut album for) produced some excellent a capella stylings, Paul Foot delivered a bamboozling list of 'disturbances' that left the audience as confused as they were amused, Key was as implacably hilarious as ever (his song is still one of the best things I've ever seen). Appallingly, I can't remember who else was on the bill for this one (I think there was another act- leave a comment if you can help). EDIT: It was Pete Firman, providing wonderfully flawed magic. (Thanks to Zoe)
  
• John-Luke Roberts: A clever show built around the murder of a captive offstage. Serial killer Roberts delivers some marvellous whimsy and pre-prepared insults ('you wear mediocrity like a favourite jumper' etc.) and a hilarious public service video about contraception. A strong debut.
• Keepers: Psychical theatre. When put together, two of the most terrifying words in the English language. However Keepers was a thoughful and cleverly-staged meditation on the lonely existence of two 19th century lighthouse keepers. The tension ratchets up and during a heavy storm things take a turn for the worse, creating an interesting, for want of a better comparison, Weekend at Bernie's scenario (curse my limited frame of reference...). It jumps the shark during a bit about flying and there's a slight continuity error but it's forgiven for its bold portrayal of a fascinating subject and the inclusion of an on stage musician and foley artist who got an as big, if not bigger, round of applause at the end for his brilliant work.
  
• The Horne Section: Here it was, the final Horne Section of Edinburgh. The end of my Edinburgh adventure, but it did not disappoint. Alex promised a gala evening and duly delivered quality act after quality act. Key, The Magnets, Josie Long, David O' Doherty, Al Murray (in a drumming capacity) and finally Tim Minchin! Minchin improvised a jazz improv epic interspersed with a ad hoc Key poem about cheese. I'm always blown away by the man's sheer piano chops. The Horne Section is a show so good that Jimmy Carr and this year's darling of the Fringe Bo Burnham just turned up to stand at the back and watch. 'Nuff said.
  

Shows I didn't see:

• Bo Burnham: Winner of the 'Spirit of the Fringe' award. Apparently the Spirit of the Fringe is being young, already rich and from the internet. Not so sure about that one...

A Well Groomed Fringe... The Second...

• Pappy's: Great fun. Some excellent sketches and songs from the trio. Good pre-performance music, Tom crashing into the boxes, dressed as a pink elephant on a pogo stick and free badges at the end dished out by Crosby himself (bonus points). What more could you want?
• BBC Comedy Presents: I book the tickets for this a long time ago, so it was a bit of a lottery as to who was on the bill. I'll just rattle through them all - MC Carl Donnelly (a very good compere, bantered well with the front row, including a 19 year old who was getting married: this would be a recurring theme throughout the evening), Tom Allen (some good jokes improved by brilliant delivery), Chortle Student Winner Phil Wang (some fairly interesting material, the polish will come with experience), Ginger and Black (deadpan musical storytelling, very good timing), Matt Green (a good short set from the 12 year old...), Jon Richardson (some really funny general misanthropy and ranting). It was a mixed bag really, there were laughs but none of the acts are my particular niche of comedy, though I do like Donnelly and Richardson.
• Nat Luurtsema: I went to see Nat again, this time with Simon (contributor to this blog). It's fun to go to shows several times and see the tweaks and ad libs. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and so did Simon. After this I was elevated to VIP status by Nat, who is so, so nice. You should all go and see her at various locations.
• Greg Davies: The only award nominee that I saw (excluding winner Russell Kane, who we covered yesterday) and he really earned his nomination. Detailing his life through a series of genuinely hilarious inconsequential moments devoid of meaning, Davies, a master raconteur, delivers an enormous amount of big, big laughs chronologically from birth to last Christmas via a decade as a depressed drama teacher to classes of eccentric children. The intimacy afforded by the Pleasance Upstairs (one of my favourite venues) perfectly suited the atmosphere. A must-see.
  
• Rob Deering's Beat This: I saw this on a bit of a whim. Having headed to the Dome after Greg Davies. There I bumped into Alex, who didn't have much time to talk as he was taking part in Beat This. Having nothing to do, I wandered to the box office and, as luck would have it, they had tickets left. I quickly bought one and latched onto the back of the queue as it entered the Jokerdome. Alex and his teammate one-liner merchant Gary Delaney were taking on improv-rap/songsters Abandoman. Beat This is essentially a comedy pop music quiz. As with other Fringe gameshows (Comedy Countdown et al) it's hard to evaluate it for this blog. The concept is strong and works well in practice, though I imagine, as is always the case with these things, quality is largely dependent on the quality of guest.
• The Invisible Dot Club By the Sea: Ferried by coach to a secret location, we were treated to a formidable bill of Kevin Eldon, Josie Long, Colin Hoult, Tim Key and Stewart Lee, all excellently compered by the magnificent Daniel Kitson. Needless to say all the acts were brilliant and the evening was marred only by an idiot heckler during Lee's set. Lee however, a consummate professional, dealt with it admirably by announcing that he'd been booked to do 20 minutes and the heckler could either let him get on with it and stop yelling out the punchlines, negating Lee's trademark slow-burning, repetitive delivery, or he could stand on stage in silence. And so it came to pass that Stewart Lee stood in silence for 5 solid minutes to laughter and applause before continuing with his act, sitting down and even lying down in defiance against the cretin in the balconies (who may have left by this point, I can't remember). Kitson was also responsible for the apparent suicide of one of the audience members during the interval (again, you had to be there, don't misconstrue this and get me sued for libel).
• Tim Key: Key has been one of my comedy heroes since I first heard Cowards on the radio and since then everything he's touched has been gold in my opinion from Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better to All Bar Luke to Space Hacks to Herb McGwyer to We Need Answers to Charlie Brooker's Newswipe... I could go on... and on... and on. Basically I'm a massive fan. Key returned triumphant to the Fringe with a 6 night run of last year's award-winning Slutcracker. Approaching the stage in shell suit and cap, smashing a golf club on the stairs, Key changed into his tattered suit and began the business of disarming, poetic comedy. I was tasked with holding the pint (which I did immensely nervously but, according to the man himself, successfully) as the master poet delivered brilliant poem after brilliant poem after excellent film after fantastic clambering over the audience. My night was made by meeting the man himself afterwards. Frankly amazing.

Strange Celebrity Spots

• TV's Dan Clark (wearing sunglasses... indoors)
• Neil Hannon (talking to David O' Doherty - how about that for a pair?!)
• David Mitchell (from a long distance after eavesdropping on a recording of The Unbelievable Truth ((a story for another time perhaps)))
  

A Well-Groomed Fringe...

Well, I'm back from Edinburgh, back to crushing reality, but also back to write a blog. A blog of numerous parts covering 3 weeks in the Scottish capital laughing and mooching.

• It's Always Right Now, Until It's Later: Another work of genius from Kitson as he weaves together the tales of two lives from birth to death/death to birth, connected by only the most fleeting of meetings. It's everything you'd expect from a Kitson play - the laughter, the pathos, the sheer brilliance of the narrative structure. Staged wonderfully in the Traverse, it was a real tour-de-force of Fringe theatre. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life.
  
• Adam Hills: It's testament to Hills' ability as a comedian that he received rave reviews for a show invented each evening and heavily reliant on the audience, with only one or two stories as a safety net. Mess Around was brilliant fun from Hills challenging latecomers to inventing a spy film based on several audience members. Notable incidents included the comedian discovering a German man in the audience and asking him what he thought of the show;"It's not too bad" was the typically laconic, teutonic response that is now emblazoned on Hills' posters around the city and Hills' impression of a Greek/Australian accent that was, I was assured by Simone (to whom this post is a sort of late birthday present), spot on.
  
• The Inaugural 3 Sided Football Tournament: The day started strangely, as it happened that the two football-themed events on the Fringe happened to be taking place at the same time on the same day on in the Meadows and one at Meadowbank Stadium, both on opposite sides of the city. After a quick check at the Comedians vs. Critics we plucked for the Invisible Dot's foray into sports invention. It was the right decision. The sight of David O' Doherty in a headband and yelling "TUCK! TUCK!" alone was enough to make it a day to remember. Other facts we learnt: Areas of Edinburgh smell faintly of Sugar Puffs, Thom Tuck is a tricky left-winger, my neck always gets sunburnt regardless of hair/sun cream/other, no-one seemed as inclined to break Whitehall's legs as I would have been were I on the pitch.
• Barry Cryer: As previously mentioned on this blog, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue was a huge influence during my formative years and the chance to see Barry Cryer was not one I'd pass up. Outside the Gilded Balloon I saw none other than Graeme Garden wandering around. I mulled things over for a few seconds before thinking that I'd kick myself if I missed this opportunity to go up to him. Inside I took my seat in the Wine Bar, leaving a vacant one on the end of the row, one that was promptly filled by Graeme himself who said "hello again" and so it came to pass that I watched Barry Cryer, all the while sitting next to Graeme Garden, essentially one of my childhood ambitions.
  
• Russell Kane: This year's award winner delivered a show about his 'castle', the council house bought by his family and the sociological impact of that act. He also returned to the much-explored issue of the relationship with his macho father in a show that delivered plenty of big laughs, the customary pigeon-chested marching across the stage and a very poignant finale indeed.
• Nick Mohammed: Thanks to Simone who had a spare ticket, I was able to see the brilliant Nick Mohammed again. A hugely talented performer with a great show that left me struggling to believe he was overlooked by the judging panel this year. (See previous blog posts for greater details of the show)
• Richard Herring: This day was somewhat of a spare ticket bonanza, as Dr. Simon Best offered me his to see Christ on a Bike: The Second Coming. Herring delivers an hour of blasphemy, but unlike so many modern cynical, atheist comedians, he made some genuinely interesting theological points instead of resorting to cheap mockery of Christianity. His routine about the gospels was absolutely magnificent.

Ok, so that's Part 1 (of 3) of the Edinburgh adventure. There is a huge list of people that I bumped into, so I'll try and select some slightly left-field ones.

• Dave Lamb (comic actor and narrator of Come Dine With Me)
• Clive Anderson
• Your man there from The Proclaimers (I couldn't tell which one it was, but he was queuing to see the Footlights)
• Bo Burnham (inexplicably awarded the Panel Prize, from what I can tell, simply for being from the internet)
  

A Royal Mill...

If there's one thing I'm pretty good at, it's milling around. Today, my first day of just over a week of Fringe on my lonesome, was spent first by legging it from Haymarket to the Pleasance Courtyard in time for a bacon roll (surprisingly good and not too dear for the Fringe at £1.80 really) and then mooching.

The first mooch was at the Courtyard. This lasted about 1 and a half to 2 hours or so. Me sitting at a bench trying to work out what was happening in Beyond (rehearsals, it turned out) and spotting the Penny Dreadfuls wandering around and entering and exiting the building several times. Then Jo Caulfield turned up and sat on the same bench as me, facing another bench and not me though. After draining my Coke and thinking, 'those comedians over there probably need these benches for their Tesco-based impromptu picnic', I upped sticks... to the Pleasance Dome where I got an espresso and a cookie. Espresso is not the ideal milling around drink, but it does make me feel like a giant (or Greg Davies).

When milling around you do get targeted by flyerers... a lot. One handed me a flyer for the excellent Nat Luurtsema (who I've already seen) which I took (even though I've already seen it - for a memento, you see) and then explained that I'd already seen it to the flyerer. There commenced a nice chat and we wished each other well and went our separate ways. Well, he walked off, I very much remained at the table. It's kind of separate, certainly not opposite ways. You'd probably need some manner of velocity graph to imply direction and explain it... anyway, he went off and I remained at the crumb-covered (ruddy cookie) table with my espresso, of which the remnants were now starting to congeal and solidify. Surely this would give away the fact that I'd been sat here for hours... But no! Several Glaswegians asked to join me and the table and we all had a good chinwag, not one of them noticing that I'd been here long enough for the bit at the bottom of my espresso that was once definitely liquid had turned into that nightmarish, grisly stain that coffee goes... you know the ones... like when you go to a Costa or Starbucks and you get that bit at the bottom that you don't really want to drink because it's kind of solid residue and... ahem... Basically, they didn't notice and we had a nice conversation. They were off to see Emma Thompson in about 30 minutes (I didn't let on that I'd already been there for about 2 hours) and eventually headed off to queue.

At this point I thought 'well, I've proved my point, I've been good enough not just to let strangers onto the table I was hogging with the remnants of my sort of lunch, I suppose, but to engage in a lively conversation with them' and got up to go to the bar, when who should I see at a table in there but Nat Luurtsema herself, writing in a notebook with about 20 minutes to go before her show. I went to the bar and got a lime and soda to counteract the morning/afternoon's caffeine (Yeah, I know I'm lame, I've learnt to live with it, why can't you...?) and took a table. I swallowed a few gulps of fruit enhanced fizzy water (bargain though, it's a wonder anyone drinks anything else... 40p!). If the last few days had taught me anything it was that generally comedians are lovely people and are usually appreciative when you go to bother them, yet it was close to her show and she was busy writing notes. I plucked up to courage to walk over and tell her that I'd seen the show a few days ago and really enjoyed it. She was no exception to the comedian rule and was appreciative despite my timing. We had a quick chat and I went back to the table and was quickly surrounded by the queue for the Footlights.

It's odd, but there's a strange feeling you get talking to your favourite comedians. The ones that I've had the experience of bothering in their day to day lives (again, sorry, if any of you are reading this... not sure why you would really, but hey) have been genuinely pleased to meet their fans and as well as getting a feeling of childish, giddy excitement at meeting them you also come away with a sense that your view does matter to them, that it's nice to hear how much you've enjoyed their work, a sort of warmth at making them feel better about themselves too. I think that's why comedian bothering is becoming so worryingly addictive to me.

It's been a good day for positive outlook and here's a thought: next time you see someone you admire (doesn't have to be a comedian) tell them that you do. Let's all just be encouraging and get along with each other, eh?

A Brief Guide to Packing for Edinburgh...

Ok, last sleep before Edinburgh tonight, which means that really I should be packing my things instead of writing this, but I might as well write about packing while I'm here and dispense some handy hints. I opened this one up to Twitter and all you blog folks can feel free to contribute with comments.


Space-saving Hints

• Don't bother with maps and schedules etc. Save it all onto your expensive piece of electronic equipment instead.
• Proceed to forget charger for said electronic equipment.
  
• You don't need that many clothes. Clothes take up valuable room that could be used to house books or other paraphernalia that you wish to pester your favourite comedians to sign.

General Tips

• Alcohol can be expensive on the Fringe, so why not dedicate one section of your case to a bottle of Jack and a few tinnies and do it yourself?
• People will claim that you'll never use that gilet/tuxedo/stripy jumper/military jacket. Prove them all wrong.
• You can never have too many flannel shirts. At LEAST one for every day you'll be in the 'Burgh should do it.
• Suitable footwear for the Moomin exhibition is ESSENTIAL.
  

Contributors' Suggestions

Katie (@hoodedhawks) suggests:

• Brolly
• Pants
• Knife (the stabby kind)
• Comfy Slippers

I defer to her knowledge of Scotland and am certain that each of those items is absolutely indespensible.

Hoffi (@vanderlily) suggests:

• Goggles (for emergencies) ((presumably for some of the scenarios we covered in Monday's blog)
• Waistcoat (for fancy occasions)
• Notebook ((I was thinking this, particularly one with your own material in it to shove in front of your favourite comedians in feverish desperation))
• Inhalers (in case you get too overwhelmed to breathe) ((or require an impromptu snorkel))

Paul (@pauljonlevy) suggests:

• Tickets
• Brolly ((this is a definite, it's been suggested twice and both time as 'brolly', so there's no excuse now really))
• Credit card with a huge credit limit due to massive price increases to buy more tickets and food

Simon (@simonpjbest) (I could have mixed together those last two and said Paul Simon and you'd have been none the wiser, would you?) suggests:

• A net to catch Haggis with
• A sofa to sit down on when you get tired of walking around Edinburgh.
  

James (@JamesWalkerMan) suggests:

Well, put all the stuff in a case/bag. Push down with hands. Zip/shut it. Hope that helps.

It certainly does, Walkerman!