TYSIC...

Ok, some of you may be wondering what this seemingly random string of letters entails. Well, it's an acronym for Ten Year Self Improvement Challenge- an iniative started by comedian Mark Watson to make the world a better place (one could even say substantially better) that begins on this very day, March 4th. TYSIC is rather appropriate for me, given my recent worries about the old midlife crisis.

In case, you're wondering the midlife crisis is continuing apace. Today I spent an hour in the garage of a well-known car manufacturer, I won't name names (why does this sound familiar...?), let's just call them, say, Boyota. They were performing some engineering to stop my car's accelerator from inadvertantly killing me. 'Good, what's wrong with that?' you might be wondering. Well, it meant sitting there watching Animal Park in dodgy black and white, fetching various caffeinated beverages and reading the newspapers strewn across the glass tables, while thinking things like 'this is taking a long time, maybe I should say something. Probably wouldn't reflect well on me if I said something...' etc. It couldn't have been more mid-life crisis-y if I'd had a pipe and slippers.

Driving home there was more cause for concern. I heard the best string of 'Non-Stop Oldies' on the Steve Wright Big Show ever - classic after classic- the Kinks, the Who, Derek and the Dominoes (you haven't lived until you've crept through a rural village blasting 'Layla' at full volume to frightened and bemused primary school kids), James Brown, Otis Redding. A stellar line-up. That definitely makes me old, doesn't it. Arse.

Actually this would be a good time to slot in some careless, uninformed analysis of the current BBC cuts situation. The idea of BBC 6Music being forced into closure seems to have a lot of people up in arms. I do occasionally listen but I couldn't call myself a regular (not since the days of Russell Brand moving to Radio 2 anyhow), however I can see that its closure would effectively snuff out thousands of exciting new artists hopes of reaching their audience. I'm told that 6Music has access to every record produced from 1960 onwards (unverified) and to wipe out such an extensive library seems a little odd to me. I'm reliably informed, by many people of greater influence, importance and wealth than myself, that we must do something about it, so let's stick it to the man... or something. A quote I see a lot with regard to 6Music is that it caters for those 'too old for Radio 1 and too young for Radio 2'. Well I was 'too old' for Radio 1 when I was about 13 and at no point was I ever 'too young' for Radio 2, no matter how uncool that makes me. I'm not ashamed about it, I'm not here to preserve my already ailing 'street cred' otherwise I wouldn't have waxed lyrical about today's Non-Stop Oldies selection.

All of this is why I figured it might be time to thrust myself into the Ten Year Self Improvement Challenge. A lot can happen in 10 years (hopefully), so I'll have to draft a list.

1. Finish my sitcom pilot script, plus series outline and character bios. I would give you some information about it, but I'm still convinced that Whitehouse and Higson stole the idea for Down the Line from me... the house may well be bugged.
2. Write a song that I'm actually pleased with - musically and lyrically.
3. Voice a video-game character - this is just a dream I've always had, don't really know why. I've been told I have a good voice for such things and I did meet Steve Blum once, he seemed a jolly nice chap.
4. Finish my novels and aim to get them published - There's two on the go presently, neither approaching completion at this stage (just as well I've got ten years to do it in)
5. Go to Ireland, Canada and the French Riviera - these are the destination-y kind of ones. I know some people say Nepal or Bolivia, but I'm better off in places where I can't get debilitating wasting diseases.

Those are the five main points, but I suspect others might creep in. Notice there's no 'get a decent job' etc. on here. I figure that I don't have time for that if I'm already at my midlife crisis. I'll try and keep you loyal readers posted with regard to my successes or otherwise in the TYSIC and if anyone else fancies joining in, it's a great way to try and improve your life/prospects/chances of furthering the human race etc.

Good luck, fellow TYSICers, see you on the other side.