Still Got the News...

Ok, seeing as very little of blog-inspiring importance seems to be happening, we're going to play a little game. I'm going to give you a selection of headlines and synopses of news stories and you have to decided which ones you think are legit and which ones are simply imaginative fabrications from my brainbox.

'Transvestite Had Sex With Dog at English Heritage Castle'
The cross-dressing man, wearing a black dress, mounted the pet in the dry moat of the almost aptly named Pendennis Castle after it had chased him out of sight of its female owner. A spokesman for English Heritage is quoted as saying "this is a very rare incident".

'Mears Hired by Police in Moat Hunt'
News has reached us that Northumbria Police used overgrown public-schoolboy and semi-fictional, forest-dwelling 'survivalist' Ray Mears in the hunt for gunman Raoul Moat. Supposedly, Mears tracked the killer after Moat's campsite was found abandoned, all the while teaching some handy fire-starting and shelter-building tips to the officers.

'Failed Britain's Got Talent Singer Sues Simon (Cowell)'
A rejected act from Britain's Got Talent in the process for suing Simon Cowell for around £2.5 million. Emma Amelia Pearl Czikai started legal proceedings, arguing that she was humiliated and degraded by the judging panel. Cowell's rather watertight defense is believed to be "What the fuck did Czikai think was the point of the show?!"
In other BGT news, there is no resolution as yet as to whether the format will be pulled after a discrepancy regarding the Trade Description Act...

Annnnnnnd... GO!