Attack of the 50 Foot Politics...

Ok, how are we all? Did we have a nice Easter? I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up, I can't hear you over the sound of the internet. I know I keep banging on about politics, but it is an election year. I saw this in the paper the other day. Pretty good (not as good as my Cable one...) but it got me thinking, actually I wouldn't mind going back to the 80s... because there was good music and clothes, I mean, I could do without the whole crippling the manufacturing infrastructure, removal of influence from the unions and unnecessary wars with Argentina... Alright, so I'm basically advocating the return of Soft Rock and New Wave, plus Acid Wash denim and Audi Quattros... yeah actuallly bring those things back and don't let Cameron have a go at doing his finest Thatcher impression.

Are you all shouting 'boo! Communist!' at your screens now? Guido Fawkes, I ain't, but then neither is he really. I can't be sure, but I'm fairly certain that if the most audacious conspirator of the Stuarts reign did have a blog, it probably wouldn't have a strong pro-Conservative bias. His blog would, I imagine, say more things like. "Gone to buy some more gunpowder, got ID'd... again. I'm going to kill you all! Guy xxx"

I'm a Liberal by trade and we enjoy the moral high ground of having the right ideas but no electoral clout whatsoever, so by going to the polling station and slapping an x next the orange bird, I might as well just pocket the ballot and trot off home where I could fold it to make an origami swan or something of the like, before using it to mop up some spilt whisky and then setting it alight. Clegg is a perfectly inoffensive leader but unless you already tow the line you probably won't vote Lib Dem, Gordon's having a mare of a time steadying the ship (he should take a leaf out of the Pope's book and just keep shtum about everything) and Cameron, backed by Ashcroft's ill-gotten gains is storming towards a position where every option on the ballot paper is for the pissing green elephant, at which point I'll just have to hope the ballot paper somehow spontaneously combusts and kills me.

You see, being a Liberal is very much like being the police profiler behind the two-way mirror, while a DI and a criminal bash it out (possibly over non-dom tax status...) on the other side. You're shouting vital hints and evidence to prove innocence or guilt but they can't hear you because some bastard's locked the door to the mirror room and we've been stuck in here raging impotently since the 1920s. We have one or two mega geniuses (that means you, Cable) but otherwise we just can't buy a vote (unlike the other major parties... I'm saying nothing...). Frustrating is what it is.

Anyhow that's my 2p about politics. Sorry this keeps being the theme. If you want, you could try telling the news people to break some interesting, funny news stories for a change. Well, I know you didn't come here to listen to me f and blind about political shortfalls and anti-Thatcherism, but you did anyway. So thanks. Have a lovely bunny for your troubles.


Over Easter Samuel Watched Final Destination 3... again - it's still utter bollocks in an amusing way- and A Complete History of My Sexual Failures - Man living in Mike Leigh film makes home video about how shit life is, why is this a film? I also listened to Any Questions in which Nigel Farage (see older blog posts for details...) advocated legalising drugs and fascism. Stop him... somebody stop him...