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Well there are only 3 really, but they're all easily recognisable archetypes that I imagine we have all encoutered at some point in our lives. It also seems highly appropriate to talk about misguided arseholes on this the 42nd anniversary of Enoch Powell's 'Rivers of Blood' speech.
Number 1
The Moriarty to my Sherlock Holmes (that isn't just boasting, I have been compared to the legendary sleuth on several separate occasions... and not just because I play the violin and take copious amounts of laudanum, namely because I don't do either of those things...). This is the kind of fiendish Napoleon of crime who is just that little bit better than you in every way and the only way to take them down is to go down with them. Fortunately our paths have not crossed recently, but I'm always wary, for that's when nemeses are at their most dangerous, when you don't know where they are (a bit like wasps... oh God, what if there's a wasp in here right now... or in your room, wherever you are, dear reader...). It's hard to surpress the competitive nature though. A trip to Reichenbach Falls may be in order before all is said and done...
Number 2
This one is the massive tool who is somehow incomprehensibly popular. You never encounter them until you're required to compete against them for some reason, only to find that they don't have to put in any of the work that you do because they have 'connections' or '900,000 Facebook friends'. Bastards... I digress. Anyway, these people always get these positions and lower the general quality of whatever field it happens to be because of it. Bugger. Anyway, more on this on Friday... all will be revealed.
Number 3
Internet people. You know those internet people who are needlessly, personally offensive, when you're just trying to calm everyone down and stop them making the whole community look like a twat? Think anyone who's ever commented on a Youtube video... ever. Well, apart from you, if you're reading this. Anyway, the kind of 15 year olds who seem to think that attempting to belittle people over the internet will make them look big instead of like the twats they inevitably are. As a politically incorrect man once said "arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded."
Tuesday 20 April 2010
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In my experience there is a fourth type. Morons who by their incompetence make you look bad, and like you haven't done your job properly. For example colleagues who ask ridiculous questions in meetings (that could have been avoided by them having read the paper you produced before the meeting) or not confirming things with suppliers that then causes you enormous hassle.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've only just scratched the surface really. Am I to assume these kind make up a percentage of the motorized tie rack ;)?
ReplyDeleteYes, probably about 50% the rest are people who, to misquote Josh Lyman, I have to ask before I can do what the hell I want.
ReplyDelete