Pudge Speaks Out...

Yes, it's David Cameron's speech today, so this will be a political-ish post. I should point out that I can't actually watch the speech at the moment, so I will instead be following it by watching the worm reaction tracker on the Guardian website. As of several minutes ago, he'd plummeted to -250 there or thereabouts. I'm not John Pienaar but I'm pretty sure that represents fairly resounding disapproval and, brilliantly, Cameron isn't even on the stage yet, so this should be a treat...

As the speech is yet to take place, this is very much a pre-emptive blog, so I'll supply you with some things you may well hear, a sort of conference bingo, if you will.

1. Awful fawning over being in power.
2. Some cheap jibes at the previous government.
3. Apologising that they happened to miss several announced policies out of their manifesto...
4. Attempting to justify marriage tax breaks despite it costing more than any of the savings made from the equally flawed removal of tax credits.
5. Thatcher - (I notice that Cameron, in fact, just called her "the greatest peacetime prime minister of the 20th century" - I'm fairly certain that tells you everything you need to know about how the next decade or so will go...)
6. Attempts to prove that the coalition is held together by something more than quasi-Tory Clegg and reams of Duck tape...
7. Some new euphemism for 'rolling back the state'...
   

On the plus side, The Apprentice starts tonight, so there'll be plenty more fawning twats to direct your anger at, expect all the fallout from the first firing in tomorrow's blog.