Davro's Fleece

I've finished my pizza and now I sit, alone and dejected, with naught but a coffee and Bargain Hunt Famous Finds to console me. Oh, it's light-hearted family fun, or so I thought...

Before I go on, I must confess to a half-truth, dear reader. While I am watching BHFF with a coffee, I am also attempting to listening to the excellent Test Match Special, which would prove an infinitely preferable soundtrack to my evening. However, the accursed internet apparatus is currently preventing me from doing so. Still, I am not here to wax lyrical about TMS, but rather to subject myself to Bargain Hunt (the things I do for blogging...).

I summarise thus:
Bobby Davro adjusts his hefty fleece and laughs maniacally over a mildly amusing statue of a cat and a dog. The woman he is partnered with (is she famous?) swoons over a tiny porcerlain couple, who lie, frozen in time, carefree and bereft of the pitfalls of celebrity culture. And the lot they choose to put forward? Davro's fleece. Seriously, the fleece.
'I can sign it, if it'll add any extra value.' Gurns Davro.
One can hear the collective thoughts of experts, Tim and indeed the entire audience at home. 'It won't' the deafening silence seems to say.
Meanwhile Helen Lederer makes a loss of £50, hope for Davro's fleece after all. The expert bounces up and down with all the grace of an incontinent wrestler, anticipating the money-shot, the fleece. The porcerlain couple make £10 profit and Davro punches the air. Davro models the fleece himself. Bidding starts at £20 (the tension is palpable now, one could cut the atmosphere with a spork) and makes it all the way to a massive, an amazing, a thoroughly contemptible £32. Their total loss: £58. Not even Davro's fleece could save them. The little man looks heart-broken, a personal failure adding to financial loss and as the credits roll, having just witnessed 3o minutes of the stuff, I know exactly how he feels.